My Grandmother Bernice passed away in 1998. I was not quite 21 at the time. She had been married young, birthed 11 babies (only one set of twins!), and survived many years of abuse from her first husband. She offered me two pieces of advice in my youth:
"It's better to be an older man's darling than a younger man's slave." I've never found that it made that much of a difference, although I have noticed that younger men ten to have a propendency to treat their older gals more like a mom... so I guess she was right. Mom always cleaned up the messes. I've always had a liking for younger men and even as I age, I noticed that my preference for men have not. Is it that I have a secret desire to be a Cougar when I grow up? Or perhaps it's that I haven't really acknowledged that I have aged. Twenty-five seems like only yesterday when almost a decade has slipped by.
The other advice was less advice and more of a gift. Hidden beneath a pile of pots and pans in my cupboard is a small, tattered, slightly greasy brown bag. Inside it is a cast iron grilled cheese pan. This pan has never been used. Before the era of Tangled, there was the wisdom of the southern lady: a good frying pan is good for more than just frying bacon (or grilled cheese). A good frying pan of the right size can release one from all sorts of evils. This frying pan is known as the "husband killer". Its size and weight make it ideal to do damage when aimed at the head of an abusive husband and not too heavy where the lady can't get a good swing.
It's fortunate that I haven't ended up with one of the assholes I've encountered over the years lest I should need to use this greatly prized gift. I don't think Grandma ever anticipated that I would end up husbandless. But I thank her for giving me the wisdom not to be any man's slave and the tools that I need to liberate myself should I foolishly end up in that situation.
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